Still the same

I still could not change.

He will be back tomorrow. I am so upset. I never follow the rules set by myself. What is wrong with me.

i know it and i still do it. Addiction, poor self discipline. Whatever you call it.

When will it be right? i wonder.


What is Bulimia to me?

  1. always at a constant struggle should you hang out or not
  2. always living day by day hopeful that tomorrow will be a better day
  3. social life is affected as you start to think too much
  4. looking at food and becoming scared when everyone treats it like heaven
  5. beating down on yourself and a lack of self confidence
  6. afraid of loneliness
  7. always trying and trying to get out of it
  8. the word food annoys me
  9. splitting personality and sometimes i am crazy and sometimes i am not
  10. everyone will find there is nothing wrong but you yourself know mentally you are weak

Why should we love ourselves? What happens if we do not?

Look forward and embrace the unknown

  1. Lethargic
  2. The day is ruin
  3. Negative energy sent to other people – more dislikes among peers
  4. Procrastination – nothing is accomplished
  5. Your body is hurt
  6. Love ones are hurt

Please please please love yourself

Do one small thing to make today better than yesterday.


Loving Myself

Love is the greatest word of all. Love myself and i will be loved. This is the best time in my life where i learn how to be alone, be happy, embrace though choices and love myself deeply.

When you are having the vacation of your life, it is the best time for recovery. You put your mind and and soul to make sure it works and it will definitely work.

Every time i were to do something, ask myself, will my body love it? Will my mind benefit from it before we embark on the journey to do it. Take a step back and breathe. Ask yourself these important questions and you are planning your road to success.

Steps to love myself more

  1. Ask myself, my body and mind if they love it before i do that. Is it good for me? Be it alcohol, food, substance, ask myself
  2. Deep meditation and breathe. When you are bored and lost, keep doing it each time for 15 mins.
  3. Do not look for fanciful things in life. Simple, understanding myself and spending time with myself is very important. Be contented and do not complain.
  4. Do things that make you happy. Whatever it is, we all know what makes us happy. Do it!

Lets come back to this again and see if things change for the better in 2018. This is my only hope and wish.

Sad news

Even though i have been on a recovery journey to be better, things still fall apart and i still go back to what i do sometimes. I try my best to forgive myself but at the same time, i give myself a hard time when relapses come in. I thought this will be a perfect recovery journey but i never totally cure myself before i learn how to fly.

Looks simple yet difficult, i know i need to try harder.



Dos and Don’t list

Our mind is meant to reciprocate and think twice before we do anything. One of my best suggestion is to count to 3 and instantly continue another task before your mind can move on to binge eating.

If you do have the urge to binge eat, please follow me and try to do the steps below and this can make you think about it lesser and spend more time with friends and family.

  1. Never be left alone at home. Try to spend most of your alone time outside of your house. Go to a friend’s place, be at the gym, drive to town or even sit at a cafe. Have a plan if you know you are going to be left alone. By being outside of your house, you are more exposed to the outside world and dwell less on your emotions and loneliness.
  2. Always take a warm nice shower and be clean and nice to bed when you are at home. You will feel refreshed and less likely to eat anything.
  3. Do not sit at your dining table and do work. Be far away from your kitchen if you need to be home. Sit in your study room or bedroom and you will forget about food and binge eating very soon.
  4. Have a hot cup of tea in your hand and ready every time. Drinking tea will calm you down and make you less likely to eat.
  5. Do not do activities that make you binge eat. For me, it is watching netflix or youtube at the dining table. It is a habit and your brain has registered it. Cultivate other habits and you will soon get used to it.
  6. Try to make yourself really tired and sleep early. Spend as much energy as possible in the day. You will feel very accomplished and days will become happier and smoother.
  7. If you are like me who love to drink, give yourself 2 days of the week, maybe sat or sun or with friends to enjoy a glass of wine. It is alright and fine and group company is always fun.

I am challenging myself to a 90-day mindset and health challenge to cleanse all the bad thoughts and toxins in my body. I hope you are ready for it with me. I will be writing about my day and how it goes and hopefully, we can do this hand in hand together!

Good luck everyone!



My Recovery Journey

Don’t let the tiny hill stand in your way

Have you been thinking about recovery but you never have the determination and heart to do that?

Do you know that your loved one will be heartbroken again and again if they knew it is so bad and they feel so helpless about you?

I have suffered from Bulimia for the past 5 years and even though things get better and better, the thought and root is still in me and i have not get rid of it completely as much as i wanted to.

I wanted to start this journey of recovery with like-minded people and those who are struggling and i believe a big effort with everyone will make this easier and better.

I know i can and i will be able to do it! Let’s aim to be a better person and have a healthier body and soul.

Please email me if you are on this journey and we will be there to help and encourage one another!